So it starts with this girl starts running in the woods, which is obvious a good idea. Then she finds a doll just lying on a log. So she picks it up and looks at it. Then something really fast attacks her and eats her. Well shit. That started really quickly.
Then this guy comes out of a store holding an engagement ring, then starts talking with his black friend, who I thought was Levar Burton. But he is not. Black guy be checking out the blonde women like he do. Then he gets into the car and the white guy sees the girl's face turn into like a monster. Dang!
But then it turns back to normal and the guy has no idea what went on.
So turns out white guy and black guy are detectives, and they get called into the scene where that girl was eaten. So they think it's an animal that did it, but they only find a bootprint. Oh shit. And they find an iPod playing "Sweet Dreams are made of These"
Then white guy sees a guy being held by the police also change his face.
Bald woman driving now. Shit is about to go down. She is clearly some kind of magical seer.
White guy goes home and finds bald woman cutting tomatoes! Holy shit! That is like my biggest fear.
Turns out shes his aunt haha. Whaale.
Damn, white guys girlfriend is hot.
Bald Aunt Marie wants to talk though!
Ooh, "There are things you don't know. Things about your family". Bald woman knows that white guy is seeing weird stuff! "The misfortune of our family is passing to you." Bald woman says Hulda is here.
This monster comes and attacks them. Bald woman has a knife and a beating stick on her for some reason. So it's a bald woman fighting a six foot tall monster. But she is surprisingly resilient. But then Hulda beats her ass. Then white guy starts shooting Hulda, and it takes like 20 shots to kill him. Hulda's face turns into the face of a balding man who is a director of software engineering.
Bald woman is dying now. Shit, that was quick. Now she gives white guy a necklace, and tells him to guard it with his life. And now she tells him his parents didn't die in a car crash. They were killed. And only 10 minutes of this show have passed so far! Damn.
Now white guy is going to the hospital because his bald aunt is dying. Apparently she's conscious now. This moves really fast.
Bald woman starts talking. "This is no fairy tale. Those stories really happened" Oh shit! "You are one of the last Grimms"
The bald aunt is really unhelpful. None of it makes sense woman!
White guy looks at the necklace. It's a key!
So black guy ran Hulda's prints, and found that it matched to a bunch of guys wanted for rape and murder and stuff.
So it's the next day, and black guy tells white guy that the boot print is from this specific boot. Then it pans to a scene of the mailman wearing those boots and delivering mail. Oh shit. Magic be everywhere.
Then a child walks by. And the mailman turns around and follows her. OH SHIT.
Haha the doctor tells white guy the aunt has a bunch of knife wounds on her body. "What line of work was she in?" "A librarian" Haha
Uh oh, white guy gets called into a scene where the parents are crying because their child didn't come home. ruh roh.
So they're getting debriefed on the case, then the guy says she was wearing a red sweatshirt. Then white guy is like: "The college girl who got eaten was wearing a red sweatshirt." Haha, that's such a jump.
So they go searching in the woods. And they split up. Oh hell nah. Bad idea!
Black guy finds a little girls backpack. Ruh roh. They find boot prints, the same kind they did before. He follows it to the edge of the woods. Then he sees this guy coming out of his house!
I don't know where he's from, but he looks really familiar. So anyways, this group of children bike by, and his face turns. So white guy really stupidly yells to his black friend: "I've got him!" Whale
So the monster guy runs back into his house. But somehow white guy tackles him. He calls in the police force to search the house, but they don't find anything. So now they think he be crazy!
Hot girlfriend now be looking out the window because white guy is spending all his time in the aunt's trailer reading her stuff about monsters. He found the face of that white girl in the beginning in one of her books, and now he found the guy he tackled.
Aaand now he goes back to the woods/park to spy on the guy he tackled. And he ignores hot girlfriends call. Shit's definitely going to happen there.
He follows guy he tackled, but guy he tackled is just peeing outside. He works that extreme cheapskates so he don't have to pay his water bill.
Then guy he tackled jumps out the window and tackles him. "You shouldn't have come back" But then he says he's just joking, and invites him in for a beer.
He's amazed that he's a Grimm. So he says he's a Blutbad which are the Big Bad Wolf in the books. He says he hasn't killed in years. White guy is really trusting. Blutbad guy tells him that being a Grimm is who he is.
Ah, so Blutbad says bad things happen when Blutbaden see red. Because of Little Red Riding Hood. Alright, things are starting to come together.
Oh damn, white guy tries to pick a fight with the Blutbad. He dumb. He really dumb.
Then we see the mailman going to a remote house. He has dolls all around. And he has the child in a bag and puts her in the basement.
Child: I just want to go home
Mailman: You are home
Oh shit. This guy looks like a super scary villain. He's like the perfect mix of Bob Costas and a pedophile
He offers her a chicken pot pie, then goes back up into the house. That was weird.
Haha so the good Blutbad is now driving the white guy, but he's sticking his head out the window because he's a dog. Hahahaha.
So good Blutbad smells another Blutbad around. So he rubs wolfsbane on them so they go undetected. White guy says a bunch of stupid shit. For a detective he does not know who to stay incognito. He probably has Pornhub on his New Tabs page.
Good Blutbad starts turning into a wolf, so he says he can't get any closer, or else he won't be able to control himself. So he ditches white guy.
So white guy calls his black friend. In the middle of the night. And wakes him up. What an asshole.
Mailman hears knocking from the basement. The little girl says she wants to go home. Mailman goes ham, and says this:
Then he closes the door in her face. Damnnnnn.
So black guy arrives and white guy starts rubbing him with wolfsbane, so black guy thinks he crazy. White guy didn't call backup because he already cried wolf once. Get it? Haha. What a dumbass
So then they go to the house. Shit is about to go so ham.
But the mailman smells something.
And white guy knocks on his door. WHALE. Mailman answers, and they look at his shoes, and he's wearing moccasins, not boots. Even serial killers gotta be hipster sometimes.
Mailman invites them in because they want to ask questions. Mailman says his pot pie is done, so he goes to check up on it. Then white guy gets impatient and just starts questioning him in his kitchen.
Mailman says they're free to look wherever they want for the boots. And white guy can't find anything. So they leave.
White guy gives mailman the staredown. Then they leave. But then black guy is like oh shit, mailman was humming the song on the girl in the beginning's iPod! They look back and the house, and the mailman looks at them through the window and turns off the lights. OH SHIT.
So white guy and black guy just break into his house. And they get attacked by the mailman.
But then black guy shoots the mailman. The mailman looks at the white guy as he's dying, then says Grimm. OH SHIT.
So they go back into the house to look for the little girl. Then the white guy just pretty much goes and finds the trapdoor really easily. That was way too easy!
So they find the little girl.
Then the white guy is talking to a sleeping bald aunt while she's sleeping, then this doctor walks in and starts filling a syringe with this green stuff and is about to inject bald aunt. White guy looks at the doctor, and he's like "YOU," then the doctor injects him with the green stuff, then walks away.
Then we see her walking out, and it's the hot blonde from the beginning who was a monster! She gets into a car and has this conversation with her boss guy
Boss: Is she dead?
Hot blonde: No, he was there
Boss: I guess we'll have to try again. Let's hope she doesn't wake up first
OH SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK. DAMNNNN
Then the bald aunt wakes up at the very end. This does move really fast. Shit
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