So these people break into a rich person's house, and they are like stealing stuff and having fun. Then they're going to get some fuck, but the girl is like "Chase me!"
So the guy does, and there are a bunch of like African statues and hunting trophies and stuff. But he don't care. He's going to get laid.
DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
But then a Hummer pulls up to the house, so the girl gets out the window, but the guy is sucked back int the house and starts getting attacked! This growling thing starts chasing the blonde, but she escaped! The guy? Oh he dead.
So white guy is at the doctors, and the doc is like "Your liver enzymes are elevated, and you have elevated levels of neurotoxin Phtx-3, which is usually associated with spider bites. If you had more, it would've paralyzed your lungs." Fuck Firecracker, this is all I need.
Blonde girl from the beginning shows up at the police station, and tells her story. They go to the house and the owners called in the breaking and entering.
White guy talks with bald aunt, and she's like "There's more Grimms out there, but I'm not in contact with them" Then she almost dies again so the doctor kicks him out.
So white guy and black guy go back to the house, and see the son motorcycling with his friends. They talk, and white guy sees him like turn into an ogre for a second. Oh shit. So they start questioning the owners of the house and they get pissed. The dad is like "If you want to talk to me, you can call me at my law firm." Damn boy damnnnnnn
Ooh, hot girlfriend is a veterinarian or something. Smexy
So white guy goes to good Blutbad to get information on the owners, who are apparently Jagerbars. This is going to get super confusing very soon.
The police pull guard detail from bald aunt's room, so white guy gets good Blutbad to guard his aunt's room. Whale.
Blonde thief girl goes back to the house to find her boyfriend, but the son attacks her. The mom is like "Your ancestors would be proud" to her son, then punts the thief girl in the head. It was badass.
White guy tells the family that they know who they are, and that the son is going to kill the guy to become a man as is tradition with Jagerbars. The mom knew all about it, but the dad didn't, so the dad is going to try to stop his son.
Blutbad sees people trying to kill the grandmother, so he attacks them like a boss. Even though he hates what the Grimms did to his family. They end up having to go to the ER
White guy and the dad stop the son, but the mom comes as a bear to attach the white guy. But she falls into like this bear trap thing and is stabbed through the body. Holy shit. The mom is like: "He has to know his heritage," but the dad is like no, history is dangerous. That foreshadowing.
Then a minister comes to bald Aunt's room, and pulls out a knife. Bald aunt stops him and ends up stabbing him! That shit was crazy. Bald Aunt tells white guy to remember who he is and trust his instincts and nothing else. Just like Jagerbar Mom.
Then bald aunt dies. Welp.
Oh shit, then the preview for the next episode says that the white guy has to protect the hot blonde girl monster! That's gonna be crazy!
This has been too intense. I've gotta watch some Triple D
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