The girls are wondering who will get the first date. Kelly looks fine as hell, and she's one of the ones that is kind of a bitch and definitely crazy.
Sharleen the opera singer looks super derpy. Seriously, who put her on this show? She obviously does not want to be here. She's so out of place.
Lucy says that if there's a date that is cuddling, she wants it, and Clare makes a super weird face, which pretty much says what we're all thinking: Lucy is a dumbass.
Nikki just said she's level 15 ready to go on a one on one date with JP.
Chris Harrison just walked in, and everybody thought it was going to be JP. Everybody is super disappointed.
Lucy can't hide her disgust at Chris Harrison because she's a bitch, Clare is super cheerful because she rocks, and Permy Magoo, even without the perm looks haggard. I'm not sure what I thought would happen without the perm, but man, this bitch ugly.
Also, Kat in glasses on the right side of that pic is a good thing for all of us.
Chris Harrison: "Hard to believe, we're down to just 15"
Only 2 fucking episodes have passed! How the hell did we get rid of 12 girls? I feel like we got rid of like 5 the first night, then maybe 3 the second. Hard to believe this is the cream of the crop. Permy Magee is still here.
Date card!
CASSANDRA GETS A ONE ON ONE!!!!!!!! YEEE BOII
Milfy Renee talks about how Cassandra's a single parent and how JP will tell her immediately if he doesn't feel anything. Then she slips in this sly smile that says: only room for one single mother in here! Milfy Renee is a straight up bitch!
I have a feeling Cassandra is going home today. They're making too big of a deal of this date.
Ewww she's wearing a red romper. It is not okay to wear ugly clothes like that ever.
JP: Cassandra seemed to be a little shy, but I'm going to make sure she doesn't feel that way today.
What a bro. Good man.
JP: Cassandra loves the water, so I'm going to give her what she wants.
Such a good guy. I can't even.
Then he drove into a river immediately killing them both. The end.
Haha not really. The car floats in water! That's such a cool idea! They're just driving on the river! JP's not feeling Cassandra, so she's definitely not getting a rose.
Elise now talking about her dead mother, who is the reason she's here. Milfy Renee comforting her as Milfy Renee does.
And now they're pulling into a yacht, and jumping off of it together into the water.
Damn, Cassandra. Good things happen when you take off the romper, that's for sure. She made out with JP next to the yacht. Way to go!
Haha now Milfy Renee is telling Kat all about Cassandra's breakdown the other night, and now Kat's pretty sure JP won't be feeling Cassandra and she's gonna leave tonight.
JP's drinking water while she's drinking wine. That's really not a good sign for anybody. He doesn't want to get too drunk, or else he might give her a rose.
He's making her dinner at his house. Noice.
Aww how cute.
JP can tell she's still nervous. So he tries to make her more comfortable by dancing. And her ass. Oh my God. Dat ass. He's gotta give her a rose.
Another date card! Group date!
Omg Permy Magoo got on the date card! Only people left out were Elise, Chelsie, Kat, and Clare. But Kat and Clare already had one on ones.
OMG Cassandra brought up that she hasn't had a first date since she was 18 years old. If this were a drinking game, I'd be dead already.
JP: I look at her, and I'm like DAYUM Cassandra's beautiful.
I feel like JP and I are on the same wavelength.
OMG her baby is UGLY. And it's half black.
Uh oh. Here comes the talk. NOOOOOOOOO.
WAIT!
WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHE GOT A ROSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MY SMILE IS GOING TO TEAR MY FACE OFF!!! I TOTALLY THOUGHT SHE WAS DONE FOR!!!!!
God, she is so cute.
TIME FOR GROUP DATE!!!!!
It's at LA Galaxy stadium.
HAHAHA I CAN'T LOOK AT THIS WITHOUT LAUGHING!!!
Sharleen's totally working the German angle with those braids. I am not a fan..
Damn Kelly is so fucking fine.
They're going to play soccer.
JP: I'm just looking for who goes with the flow and is able to go outside of their comfort zone.
JP confirmed for a people reading supergenius. Seriously. That's some next level shit right there.
Clare and Cassandra talking about how awkward group dates are. Clare doing the crazy finger thing she does so well. That's why she's my fave!
Damn, Kelly taking the lead wit dat hair. Permy Magoo back to her permy ways and looking fuggo as fuck.
Sharleen's getting hit by the ball all the time. But she's a gamer and giving dat smile. I bet she gets the rose for the group date just because JP's a glutton for punishment Because she's a great sport.
Permy Magee scored the final goal! Werk Permy.
Sharleen is definitely getting the rose. He's going to be hung up on her for a long time for sure. Damn, Sharleen is wearing red ass lipstick. She is finally in it to game. Everybody else is gonna get steamrolled.
First, 1 on 1 moment is with Nikki. They hug on the balcony. Whatever, no real sparks.
Next, Andi gets her 1 on 1 time. This be the girl I'm rooting for.
THEY MAKE OUT IN THE KITCHEN!!!!!!!! YEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Uh oh, the date card is here! Who gets the one on one?
OMG IT'S CHELSIE! EVERYBODY HATES CHELSIE! NO ONE'S CHEERING BECAUSE NO ONE LIKES HER!!!!!!!!
Poor busty Elise.
HAHAHHAHAHAHA PERMY MAGEE TELLING HIM SHE WAS ADOPTED. I'M NOT AT ALL SURPRISED!!!!!!! TOOOO GOOD!!!!
Uh oh, it's Sharleen's turn. Things are about to get good.
OMG so awkward.
JP: You've got class.
Sharleen: That's a huge compliment.
Geez. This bitch. Thank god she's hot.
They just made out in the middle of the soccer stadium, then Sharleen pulled out her game, and said "Can we get a retake?" and made out with him again. She is not to be messed with.
Permy Magee watches her slim chances of love just fly away into the cold abyss that is Sharleen's heart. All the girls are watching as they make out in the middle of the soccer stadium.
Dude, Sharleen is so cocky. She would be surprised if she didn't get a rose. She's really good at this. Goddamn.
TIME FOR THE GROUP DATE ROSE!
Nikki gets the group date rose????????
WHAT????
Dude, what the hell. Andi and Sharleen pondering why they weren't given the rose because they made out with him, and they're feeling insecure.
Chelsie going on her 1 on 1 date with JP. JP apologizes to Elise for not giving her a date. What a good guy.
Omg, they're dancing to Venezuelan music in the car. This is awkward. This is the definition of not a cute c ouple. Because Chelsie has that weird big jaw face.
Dude Elise talking to Cassandra about how Chelsie seems like a kid, and how JP doesn't want a kid. I'm not sure she remembers that Cassandra is 21. Or maybe she does know and this is a super stealthy bitch move.
They're eating Venezuelan food. She's just agreeing with everything, saying everything rocks. Lesson to you, this is not what a guy wants. Well JP seems to be okay with it, but it's not going to last. He wants a woman like Sharleen who is just a basic bitch.
Tandem bungee jumping off of a bridge! None of this is worthy of screenshotting because I don't like Chelsie.
Chelsie freaking out because she's scared of the jump.
JP saying he just wants her to feel comfortable for like the 3rd time. What a good guy. He says they don't have to do it.
If she doesn't jump, it'll be brilliant. Then he looks like an asshole if he doesn't give her a rose. It's pretty much win win either way. Chelsie fell into a perfect situation. Literally :)
She's gonna jump!
Now they're making out upside down hanging off of a bridge! JP is a fucking genius.
OMG CHELSIE IS SO ANNOYING. I WANT TO PUNCH HER IN THE FACE.
Hehe now Elise is complaining to Kat about how young Elise is. Kat just nodding along because she rocks.
Oh god, I want Chelsie to be the first to not get a rose on their 1 on 1.
Damn, he's giving her a rose. Shit.
God, she's so annoying.
Dude, there's a concert by Billy Currington for them. Kinda like Clare's date, except not a fat guy singing. JP is definitely a sucker for the blondes.
Uh oh, I think JP is falling for Chelsie. This is not good for anybody. Oh no. Oh no. JP is such a good guy, but he has a shitty picker.
Awww shit, bikini scenes coming up.
Haha he's making Venezuelan breakfast for the girls so he sees them without makeup and stuff.
OMG Kelly with glasses. I think I'm in love.
Haha she's covering her face so he doesn't see her without makeup.
Damn, Milfy Renee just walks in with no fucks given.
JP: Clare looks really good in pajamas.
Kelly still in glasses. Workin it.
Haha Sharleen's wearing a leopard print robe.
Damn, they all in bikinis. Except Andi who is wearing a fucking one piece.
Kelly: I think you need to be more considerate because there are 14 other girls, and you look like a whore.
She's my fave!!
Everyone hates Kat because she's an attention whore.
Sharleen questioning herself.. Omg this exchange. Vintage Sharleen.
JP: Hey, how've you been?
Sharleen: I'm okay, how are you?
JP: Just okay?
Sharleen: I'm okay, how are you?
I can barely handle it. It's so awkward.
Sharleen now crying and getting a hug from JP like a boss.
He's doing that back scratch thing. That's how you do game. I'm totally going to use that move.
Sharleen steals a kiss! Then calls JP a tease.
All the girls watching and talking about it.
Aww, Crazy Clare being sad. She's so cute. Talking it out with Milfy Renee, because why not?
Okay, this had to be posted.
Sharleen needs to get her clothes under control.
Bro. Nuff said.
Now she's talking to JP. Her teeth are so perfect.
Not enough Clare in this episode. Dude JP had a pool party so they wouldn't get dressed up and he could see them in their natural element. This guy knows.
And Clare's now happy. Who saw that coming?
ROSE CEREMONY COMING UP!!!!
Oh hot damn, Sharleen dressed for the occasion.
She's in it to win it.
Cassandra, Nikki, and Elise have roses already from their dates. Here we go!
Ewwww Permy Magee's smile. This bitch needs to go.
I can't get over how good Sharleen looks. Clare also looks damn fine.
This is how you know you're God's gift to women. Jesus Christ man.
Let the rose ceremony begin.
Andi gets a rose. No surprise there. Work it girl.
Dude, I cannot handle this. How did she get so hot?
Milfy Renee gets a rose. She didn't do shit!
KELLY GETS A ROSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
SHARLEEN GETS A ROSE!!!!! YEEEEEE!!! AND SHE'S NOT SUPER AWKWARD ABOUT IT!!!! VICTORY ON ALL ENDS!!!
ELISE GETS A ROSE! WHAAAAT?????? SHE DIDN'T EVEN GET A DATE!
Kat got a rose. She's pretty damn hot and knows how to work it better than anyone. Except for maybe Sharleen. No surprise there.
Clare hates Kat so much because she's an attention whore. Hehe.
ALLISON GETS A ROSE???? WTF??? SHE HASN'T DONE SHIT ALL SEASON!
CLARE GETS A ROSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK GOD!!!!!! I WAS GETTING SO WORRIED!!!!
Lauren gets a rose. She hasn't done anything since playing piano.
Each of the girls without a rose are getting nervous tics. Permy Magee can't stop cringing her neck, Lucy looks like she is gonna faint, and this blonde bitch, who I have never seen before looks depressed.
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
PERMY MAGEE GOT THE FINAL ROSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I THINK THEY'RE SETTING UP A HOOSIERS KIND OF THING WHERE PERMY MAGEE COMES OUT OF NOWHERE AND KARATE CHOPS EVERYBODY EN ROUTE TO GETTING A RING ON HER FINGER! HOW IS SHE STILL HERE????
Damn, the blonde is fucking hot. Those legs. Talofa and goodbye
Lucy's gone. She wasn't as annoying this episode.
Lucy: I hope that everyone here finds exactly what they are looking for. Because every person deserves to have love and something so so special.
Dude, that's a really good thing to say. Where was this instead of the whore that walked around naked everywhere?
Oh my god. The preview for next week has Sharleen singing opera. My body is ready.
At this point, if Sharleen doesn't win, that would be a major upset. She would have to majorly fuck everything up to make her fall out of love with her. Which is definitely possible because she's so awkward.
Then, everybody is gonna fight with Clare. Awwww shit.
Uh oh, the end part is Chelsie and JP talking and having a good time. This can't be good.
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