"Whoa Jackson's shirt is buttoned halfway down. It must be Thursday!"
This is gonna be awesome!
So the owner is talking about the restaurant, Sur, and how it employs a bunch of characters.
First up is Stassi:
Damn, she's fine. She says that Sur is awesome because all the waiters and waitresses want to be actors and singers and writers, while other waiters in Hollywood just want to be waiters at Sur. Haha
And this bitch Kristen is bragging about everyone compliments the Sur wait staff because they're all really good looking. Hahaha that face.
Next up is Scheana. She's the new girl here
She's pretty hot. She's probably what Andi from the Bachelor would look like if she didn't go to law school.
And everyone knows that she dated a married man. Scandal already!
Apparently this lady's husband. I think the pointing one. Ewwwwwwwwwww
Stassi now badmouthing Scheana because the guy was a famous actor and they dated for 2 years. There's no way she couldn't have known. Drama this early!
Stassi saying Scheana's so low class. Stassi went to an all-girls private school in New Orleans, and Scheana is so low class that she's not like the people she wants to surround herself with. Oh snap!
Uh oh, Scheana's flirting with Stassi's boyfriend Jax. I think.
Jax and Stassi have been dating for 2 years. Jax says she's extremely intelligent.
AMERICAN SEOUL TRAIN!!!!!! YEE BOIIIII!!!!
That bartender is Tom Sandoval. He's Kristen's boyfriend.
And apparently there's a guy named Tom Schwartz who is Katie's boyfriend. Could they have made this any more confusing?
This is Ponytail. He is the manager of Sur.
Apparently he can work his hair any way you want it. It's looking glorious.
So he's saying that Sur is a merry-go-round for relationships.
He used to date Stassi! WHAT???!?!?! DAMN SON!!!! WORK IT!!!!
So the current situation summarized by Ponytail:
Stassi used to date Ponytail, but now dates Jaxon, who used to live with Tom the bartender, who is now dating Kristen, who is best friends with Stassi and Katie.
And Katie and Ponytail also hooked up, but now she's dating Tom Schwartz, who used to live with Tom Sandoval and Kristen.
Got it?
Seems like Ponytail has good taste, working the women excluding Kristen. I think he will be my favorite.
Haha Stassi now talking about Scheana being a man stealer. Omg, this is going to be so good.
Uh oh, now she's getting on Jax for being nice to Scheana, because he should know that she hates her.
Stassi: I have nothing to say to you right now
Jax: Shocking
Stassi: Why is that shocking? I usually have a shit ton to say
Jax: That's why it's shocking
Katie wants to have her own record label.
Tom Sandoval wants to be famous also. I think he's a singer.
Now company meeting! Guillermo wants them to push specials more.
Katie says that they need to sell them like it's sex.
Lisa now saying that some waiters are being lazy and piggybacking on the strong servers. And singles out Stassi.
Stassi says she's a descendant of a Swedish princess and she tries to act like one.
Stassi: I know the food like the back of my hand
Lisa: Then you don't know the back of your hand well. Clearly.
So Scheana used to work at Villa Blanca and she's trying to change things about how it's done.
Uh oh. Jax just agreed with Scheana that there are lazy servers here. Oh no.
Scheana: It was just a suggestion
Stassi: Well, it wasn't a good one
You could cut the bitchiness with a knife! I love it!
Ponytail and Jax now talking about Stassi. Ponytail dated Stassi for 4 months.
Uh oh, Jax now flirting with the hot blonde waitress! Oh man. I love this shit.
Scheana segment now! Haha she has a fat boyfriend named Shay.
Scheana wants to be famous, so she's a singer. Even though she has no training, she was just found on the streets because she looks like Britney Spears.
Now she's making sex sounds for a recording.
Recording guy: Less phone sex operator, more porn star
Jax doing a BMW commercial!
Stassi's last 2 boyfriends cheated on her, according to Jax. Does that include Ponytail? Gameplay!
Lisa's daughter is called Pandora, and she's friends with Stassi, which is why Lisa feels a certain allegiance with Stassi.
Tom Sandoval and Kristen have been together for 4 years, and sleeping together for 5. Kristen is classy on a stick.
Oh my god, all these guys wear beanies indoors. Gross.
Tom just shaved his forehead.
They're both from the Midwest, and both want to be actors.
Tom: Where's my hairspray?
Kristen: Why can't you use mine?
Tom: Your hairspray sucks, babe. I need something stronger for my hair. Anything that says touchable or styleable is garbage.
Haha Tom just said sucks like 99 times because he had to use the shitty hairspray.
Tina is a black girl who used to work with Scheana at Villa Blanca, so they're friends. She's supposed to be a bomb singer. Scheana has a callback to be the Pink Ranger for Power Rangers!
HAHAHAHHAA SCHEANA WALKED IN WEARING THE SAME COLOR DRESS AS STASSI!!!! IT IS ON!!!
Stassi: Everybody knows that the gray/blue color dress is my color dress. You just don't go there.
Haha Stassi just sent Scheana to polish glasses.
Lisa telling Scheana to stand up to Stassi.
Uh oh, Scheana standing up to Stassi saying she won't be her bitch.
Talking about Scheana dating a married man. Omg, the wife is named Brandi. As in Brandi Glanville! So the guy is Eddie Cibrian! Who left her for Leann Rimes! Omg omg omg omg.
Haha no one over a size 2 can wear a Ser dress.
Jaxon laughing because no one wears bras under their dresses.
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