So it starts off with this tool in an art gallery hitting on this chick, but then she leaves. He was talking to his girlfriend about how he was like looking at art while he was looking at women. He just has that tool look.
But then he tracks her down and then she goes to his place. He changes into like a wolf or something, so it's like oh shit, he's going to eat her!
Then she tries to leave, but he pins her down and turns into a wolf. Then she turns into a fucking spider and pins him down and starts vomiting into his mouth!
He gets owned in this struggle, but manages to bit off two of her fingers.
Yee hot girlfriend! Their house gets egged by beaver children, and Nick is really pissed.
So he talks to Blutgood, then he gets called into the case. So the girl took the guy's Rolex apparently, and the guy was completely mummified at the crime scene, since she sucked out all his blood.
They track down similar cases, and it turns out there were 3 killings in two other places 5 years apart, so they think it's some kind of ritual thing.
Meanwhile, Nick finds a book about spiders in Japanese, but he don't read Japanese, so he goes to Blutgood for help. He also hunts down one of the Beaver people and gets scary intense telling them to never come around to his house again or else shit will go down. it was intense as fuck.
The killer spider girl kills another guy, and she really looks like Debra from Everybody Loves Raymond. Then we see her scoping out another guy, and it looks like she's going to try to seduce him and kill him.
But apparently it's her husband! And she has a daughter!
So they have dinner, and she gives her husband a Rolex! The one she stole from the dead guy! DAMNNNNNNNNNNNN
On a side note, I don't know how he didn't realize that she was missing two entire fingers.
Then Blutgood takes Nick to see someone who can help him learn about spider people. So they go to a retirement home for Wesen, which is just monsters in general. Time for old people talking.
OH SHIT! OLD LADY SPIDER!
That was unexpected.
So spinnetods (killer spiders) have to kill every 5 years after they come of age and must kill within 3 days of their last kill. Or else the mortification process will continue.
What does that mean you ask?
HAHAHHAHAHAHA That's what it means. She didn't want to kill. So spinnetods are cursed with rapid aging, and the only way to combat it is by sucking the lives out of young men. It's not something they want to do, but something they have to do.
Lol this bitch is my favorite
Haha really. Nominate her for an Emmy.
Ooh damn, they tracked down the watch back to the daughter's school!
THIS BITCH LYING!!!! AND THE FAT BLACK PRINCIPAL JUST CALLED HER OUT ON IT!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
OH DAMN, THEY GOT THE HUSBAND IN CUSTODY! AND THEY JUST FOUND THE WIFE WITH A BANDAGE ON HER FINGER!!!!!!
This is my favorite episode by far.
OH SHIT SHE HAS HER FINGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMNN!!!!!! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN????
Oh this bitch sassy.
And now the dad is lying in questioning! He's saying he got it at a swap meet!
Oh Hanky Hanky Hank Hank Hank. You done fucked up.
Nick is getting really intense in this episode.
Now spider woman is leaving her daughter with a babysitter so she can go get some midnight strange. Atta girl.
OH SHIT THE HUSBAND IS A SPINNETOD TOO!!!!!!!!
Now we get to hear their love story! They met in high school. They looked each other and just knew. He says there's no life for either of them without the other. Oh damn. This ain't gonna end up well.
Oh shit, she's beginning to get wrinkles! HOLY SHIT. SHE JUST STARTED RIPPING OFF HER FACE!!!!!!!! I DON'T EVEN!!!!!!!!
They now be raiding her house. OH SHIT. Nick just found a huge thing of skin in her trash can!
Oh damn, she seducing somebody on a ship. She getting hungry!
Oh man, he gon die. Hank gets him!!!! That was scary. Now Nick is going down into the boat. Oh man, this is so intense.
Oh man, he gon die. Shit, she's going to be hanging on a wall or something. Because she's a spider.
This is so intense. HOLY SHIT. I almost crapped my pants.
She starts climbing a fucking wall! She's just jumping from post to post on a bridge! Oh damn, he uses a ship's sails to catch her! And she gets caught in a net. That was anticlimactic. She just got caught in a net. Whale.
Now they're sending the daughter to her grandmother's
Oh shit. This ain't over.
The spinnetod got old as fuck in the jail cell. But there's a spider web on her cell bars. OH DAMN
No comments:
Post a Comment